It has been very hard for me to put things down in writing on what is going on.
Usually I have no problem with writing out my thoughts but it's hard to put into written words what your child and family are going through.
As my work has slowed down for the summer I am going to try and write more.

Simon finished his 5th round of chemo the day before Memorial Day.
And we moved the next day into my parents.

We took him home still accessed so we could do IV fluids at night to stave off the dehydration he had from the last time he had this same chemo- very nauseous times.

He had a blood/platelet transfusion a week later as his counts had dropped quite low.
Then he had another transfusion June 9th.
After that transfusion we have a new kiddo.

He has been trying to show us he can run (which he never has before so we're still working on him having the muscle tone and ability to run fast.  Right now it's just a cute fast walk of lots of arms and legs moving).
His energy is so high, he's sleeping great, and as always we're trying to fatten him up.

But we don't have to do anymore shots of neupogen (to increase his white blood cell count) or labs until July- yes!

And we have a surgery date.  June 28th.
Caleb and I both are anxious (as in anxiety-ridden), scared, and trying to keep ourselves busy and not think about it too much.

It is interesting that he'll have almost an identical scar to his dad's where we always just knew he wouldn't- being the healthy child without a genetic disorder and all that.
Kinda ironic and not so cool.

But we hope to make the best of the next couple weeks- swimming, getting some good pictures of my baby without a scar, playing, going to our family ranch and getting dirty.

Life is always taking some new/unique twists and turns for us.
I wish I could say I was bored- cause boring is safe.

Things are great

I need to start writing more but my heart just can't handle it written down- it's like it almost makes it too real.

Simon was in the hospital last week for neutropenic fever and mouth/throat sores.
you can see in the above pictures as he went in (May 6th for the first two photos), May 9, May 10- he started feeling a lot better!

We were released on Thursday on the promise that we would make sure he is taking in enough fluids at home without IV fluids.

It was rough Thursday night-Saturday.
Thursday night was my brother's wedding dinner so Simon was with my in-laws who don't push him as hard as us (they're grandparents- they get to be nice :)).
Then Friday was the wedding/reception so we still weren't with him a lot.
But Saturday I was with him all day and we got a lot more fluids/food in him and he started acting better.
Saturday night was a cousin's birthday party and Simon hasn't been able to play with them in months.  But finally his counts/energy were high enough!

Then Sunday was mother's day.  We had a late night the night before so we did skip church.
I wanted to go but would have also been sad to not see Simon up on the stand singing to the moms with the other kids.

But we had a relaxing afternoon.
Went to my parents for an early dinner where Simon (and Meg) got to play with a cousin again.

And that night back to the in-laws for mother's day dessert.

Simon had so much fun with all the cousins over the weekend!
His energy has been SO high that it's fun to see him in no pain at all, eating everything (seriously, almost a full bag of starburst!), and playing.

He's sleeping better (only gets up once or twice wanting me to go cuddle with him), eating better, happier, and it's just amazing to see!

I feel awful he's going back for a scan next Tuesday and chemo #5 on Wednesday.
This one should cause a lot of nausea so we're going to really try and combat that early with extra fluids and extra anti-nausea so he doesn't lose as much weight as last time (he still hasn't gained it all back so we don't want more gone!).

My brother got him this shirt- Simon hated that it said chemo but thought it was cool how people reacted to the shirt

Simon has been selected as the "prince" for Millie's Princess Foundation.  This is an amazing foundation that is doing a fun run and more to help two families every year with the financial burden that childhood cancer can bring.  We are so excited that he gets to be the prince with Princess Mazy!

I am working to get a logo done to make t-shirts for the Fun Run and also for supporters/fundraisers.

My family had a yard sale three weeks ago and then our ward did one last weekend for Simon and a couple other families.  They went so well!

We stopped by the ward yard sale so they could see how well he was doing.

This last picture is from chemo #4, April 25th- but I just love this picture of him!

Lost

I did myself thinking throughout the day about what I can write.
The realities of cancer?
Comic relief? Hair falling out, funny new food desires, new phrases....

But it all disappears when I have time to write.
I don't know how to start.
I don't want to start writing about this.

Starting from today

Because things have been so busy- I'm starting from today and will post a bit backwards,  then forward,  to catch up.

Today is Saturday, day 4 in the hospital.

Simon has had 3 rounds of chemo so far with the 4th tonight.

He has only thrown up twice- once was a protest (I'll throw up if you give that to me.  *does it* see, I told you I would) and the other was right after chemo ended.

Overall he's been doing great.

Wednesday when we went in he had two bone marrow aspirations (biopsies) and his port placed on his left clavicle.  They did give him versed so he was pretty loopy before (which was funny and sad) so he doesn't remember much of that morning thank goodness.

He came out of anesthesia really well- not too grumpy, just hurting.

They gave him a fast acting pain med that would make him fall asleep for a few minutes.

The doctor was really impressed after the first chemo round that he didn't get nauseated and that he hasn't been super nauseated yet.

It's still a struggle to get him to eat- if you know Simon really well you know that he's always loved drinks but it's been a challenge since he was a baby to get him to eat solid foods.  He's not picky- just has never had a strong desire for food.

But this morning I'm getting small bites of a chocolate muffin in his mouth.

He is down 3 pounds from 2 weeks ago which isn't good.
Could be worse but still is a lot of weight for a 4 year old.

Anytime a nurse comes in he asks right away "What are you doing?"  "What is that medicine?"  "What does it do?"  He's very inquisitive.

I'll try to add pictures to the blog as I go along- but it's hard when it's such a busy time.

It's the busiest time of the year for work for me.
Meg has her appointments every few weeks.
And then we have Simon up here every few weeks but trying to keep him healthy at home too.

He did tell me this morning when I asked if he wants to go home in a few days "No, I can't go home cause the doctors haven't fixed my tummy yet."

My Kiddo

February 9, 2017- got the call at home that my son was diagnosed with cancer.

I am doing a handwritten journal of all medical stuff.
This will be a blog devoted to how he's doing, our triumphs and sorrows, and most updates.

This is his fight, his biggest battle ever.
And he is our warrior!
#warriorsimon